Reality sets in
Well, today is a new day. Not an easier day. I don't think that it will ever get easier. We seem to be able to make our days as normal as possible, but the nights are hardest. Something about laying my head down to 'end' a day...to end a day that I can never have back and to be one day closer to...well...just another day gone. I find my nights very restless. So I found myself taking a over the counter sleeping pill last night. While I am grateful that I got some sleep, it sure made me groggy today.
I have a friend who is organizing a wonderful event. A benefit barrel race/stallion auction/what ever else she can make it. We've set up a Byron Anthony Support Page on Face Book and a place for others to offer Donations to assist with Byron's medical bills and needs. The prayers and support we've received from so many have been overwhelming. Thank you.
I can't say that I don't struggle with the 'Why' of it all, but I know that in Romans 8:28 that 'all things work together for the good for those who love God'. And while I know this, I still struggle. I think most of you know that I have my own ministry - Riding with Faith - and that I do the Church Services for all of the Elite Barrel Races and for many others. So, I think it's fair to say that you all know that I love and try to live for God. But there have been moments that I have questioned why God has allowed this to happen to my child, my family. I won't lie to you and tell you that I truly 'get it'. I have to tell you that I have asked God numerous times, WHY? I don't expect an answer. I'm not sure what it is that I do expect.....but I know that my God is a God of miracles and if anything or anyone can save my son from this disease, it's God. He is a God of miracles.
I still find myself a little lost at night when I began my prayers (or even throughout my many daily prayers) when I ask God for a miracle. But while I ask God for a miracle, there is a part of me that is scared that THIS is the path he has for my son. Many times I feel so selfish. I have to tell you a little story:
We were at church at the Old West Cowboy Church in Robinson, Tx a few weeks ago and the pastor asked for prayer for an elderly gentleman who had survived Pearl Harbor. The pastor said that he was not asking for prayer for God to save his life, but just to make the time that he has left, beautiful. While I understood this prayer, I was a little shocked. But the older man was ready. He was ready to meet Jesus and spend eternity with him. Well, during this statement, my son raises his hand (which always scares me because he normally has something silly or off the wall to say) so I grab his hand and say, "What are you doing?", "What do you need Byron?".....he looks at me and says, "We should all be jealous." I was puzzled, and I replied, "What do you mean?" and he said, "We should all be jealous because he gets to go to Jesus and we are stuck here."
At the time, I was slightly frustrated. I was amazed that he would want to interrupt and say such a thing. Of course I wouldn't allow him to interrupt the preacher to speak his opinion. But I look back on that now and think to myself....."He really understands that there is peace with Jesus." Of all the things that Byron is so 'slow' about, he really gets that. It makes me cry today. He posted something similar on his face book one time that caused a little of an 'up roar'....but it makes me wonder....maybe he feels something deep down inside. Maybe he knows that he will meet Jesus sooner than many of us. He is so amazing....I'm sorry, I have to stop here for now.....
I have returned to add this. I know that some folks are left wondering, but Children diagnosed with HD will gradually lose the ability perform routine tasks, or care for themselves. The average life expectancy is 10 yrs from onset. Byron began more obvious symptoms at age 13. About five years ago. But intitial symptoms were 'ticks'. Like blinking, sniffing, shrigging of the shoulders and clearing of his throat.
I have a friend who is organizing a wonderful event. A benefit barrel race/stallion auction/what ever else she can make it. We've set up a Byron Anthony Support Page on Face Book and a place for others to offer Donations to assist with Byron's medical bills and needs. The prayers and support we've received from so many have been overwhelming. Thank you.
I can't say that I don't struggle with the 'Why' of it all, but I know that in Romans 8:28 that 'all things work together for the good for those who love God'. And while I know this, I still struggle. I think most of you know that I have my own ministry - Riding with Faith - and that I do the Church Services for all of the Elite Barrel Races and for many others. So, I think it's fair to say that you all know that I love and try to live for God. But there have been moments that I have questioned why God has allowed this to happen to my child, my family. I won't lie to you and tell you that I truly 'get it'. I have to tell you that I have asked God numerous times, WHY? I don't expect an answer. I'm not sure what it is that I do expect.....but I know that my God is a God of miracles and if anything or anyone can save my son from this disease, it's God. He is a God of miracles.
I still find myself a little lost at night when I began my prayers (or even throughout my many daily prayers) when I ask God for a miracle. But while I ask God for a miracle, there is a part of me that is scared that THIS is the path he has for my son. Many times I feel so selfish. I have to tell you a little story:
We were at church at the Old West Cowboy Church in Robinson, Tx a few weeks ago and the pastor asked for prayer for an elderly gentleman who had survived Pearl Harbor. The pastor said that he was not asking for prayer for God to save his life, but just to make the time that he has left, beautiful. While I understood this prayer, I was a little shocked. But the older man was ready. He was ready to meet Jesus and spend eternity with him. Well, during this statement, my son raises his hand (which always scares me because he normally has something silly or off the wall to say) so I grab his hand and say, "What are you doing?", "What do you need Byron?".....he looks at me and says, "We should all be jealous." I was puzzled, and I replied, "What do you mean?" and he said, "We should all be jealous because he gets to go to Jesus and we are stuck here."
At the time, I was slightly frustrated. I was amazed that he would want to interrupt and say such a thing. Of course I wouldn't allow him to interrupt the preacher to speak his opinion. But I look back on that now and think to myself....."He really understands that there is peace with Jesus." Of all the things that Byron is so 'slow' about, he really gets that. It makes me cry today. He posted something similar on his face book one time that caused a little of an 'up roar'....but it makes me wonder....maybe he feels something deep down inside. Maybe he knows that he will meet Jesus sooner than many of us. He is so amazing....I'm sorry, I have to stop here for now.....
I have returned to add this. I know that some folks are left wondering, but Children diagnosed with HD will gradually lose the ability perform routine tasks, or care for themselves. The average life expectancy is 10 yrs from onset. Byron began more obvious symptoms at age 13. About five years ago. But intitial symptoms were 'ticks'. Like blinking, sniffing, shrigging of the shoulders and clearing of his throat.
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