Day by Day

It breaks my heart, every day, to see Byron slowing down more and more. I lose a small piece of him every day it seems. I think the hardest part is seeing him struggle with the little things.....with balance just to sit on the couch, or fighting to control his hand as he reaches into a bag of chips, brushing his teeth or opening a yogart.....

There are times that I can pretend that 'I didn't see that' or just smile and focus on other things that make me happy...like the fact that he is still here and I can still say I love you as many times I can muster it to him. Then, there are days that I am in this 'trance'...just trying to make it through the day without screaming at anyone I see and punching everything within reach. I think I need to invest in a punching bag. Seriously. I'm struggling today. I'm sad, I'm torn, I'm broken.

Sadness just sneaks in sometimes...the smallest thing can trigger the emotions sending me into a downward spiral. I'm scared that I am going to lose my ability to be positive. This just gets harder and harder and I know that that is all it will do.....is get harder.

There is no light at the end of this ugly tunnel.... Lord please heal him and help me to be strong until You do.